


Some Things Just Can't Be Explained

by wlw0with0reader



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/F, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-06-29 00:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15717984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wlw0with0reader/pseuds/wlw0with0reader
Summary: Originally posted on my tumblr: wlw-with-reader.tumblr.comGif not mine





	Some Things Just Can't Be Explained

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr: wlw-with-reader.tumblr.com
> 
> Gif not mine

You must understand, I’ve been alone for so long that I never really needed anyone in my life. And long after you too have gone, I will remain. I will stay here as the very fabric of your being is spread across the universe. And you must be asking how can I know such things?

My darling, I have loved you across all your lifetimes and have known you to be one of the greatest joys. But you will never stay. I wasn’t meant to be yours. But you have always been meant to be mine. That’s why to me, even if I am given only five minutes with you or rather only a brief second to look at you, that time alone, I imprint in my mind. For I will continue to exist no matter how many lifetimes you go through.

Do not despair or least of all, have such pity on me. Love does not need to be reciprocated. In fact, love isn’t always reciprocated. When I say that you have always been meant to be mine, I mean that my heart is undeniably yours. Do with it what you please. Because in some of your lifetimes, you choose to marry for love and in others, you choose to be alone. We can’t ever be together. No, I gave that up in order to save you in one of your previous lives.

It is my punishment and mine alone, to watch you be with other women and be happy. And I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing in the world. Just finding you again and seeing how happy you are with someone or by yourself is enough for me to continue.

I have gotten used to the loneliness. To being alone. I have spent between years and centuries when your reincarnation has yet to make an appearance. But what I haven’t gotten used to is loving you and retaining every single memory we made in that lifetime when you and I were meant to be. Where I was meant to be yours and you were meant to be mine. Memories where the two of us are dancing on rooftops and your smile and laughter highlight just a glimpse of the love I have for you. Back before I made that deal to make sure you would be spared such a painful death.

Please don’t blame yourself. I chose to save you. You are worth everything to me. However, after all these lifetimes of yours, I will admit I am jealous of all those women who get to be with you. You get to remember them. But me, the worst part is having you look right through me as though we were never lovers. You look right through me for those five minutes or five seconds I am blessed to have with you in each of your lifetime. And I know you won’t ever know who I am. Because you can’t remember. And really what makes it hurt even more is when I recall that lifetime we shared together, after I made that deal to save you, I could hear you keep telling me, “Y/N, I will never forget you. I love you. I love you in all your forms. And I’ll keep loving you even when I’ve forgotten you.”

You said all of that as I was losing blood. And when I woke up without you, I was sentenced to immortality and retaining every memory of us. And being given that brief moment of time to see how you are. At least, I am comforted by the fact that you won’t ever die a painful death in any of your lifetimes.

 

______________

“What is it, Iris?”

“Have you ever felt like the person you’re with isn’t the one you’re meant to be with? Like it’s someone else even though you don’t know who that someone is?”

“I thought you liked Rachel.”

“I do. And she knows how I feel. It’s- I guess I can’t really explain.”

Iris, for the life of her, felt as though she would never really be with the woman she loved. She felt as though the woman who was meant for her was out there somewhere. 

“You ended it with Rachel, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. It’s just - some things can’t be explained. I can’t tell you why I feel like the woman for me is out there. Or why I feel like I won’t ever get to be with her. I guess, I’d rather be alone than to be with anyone else. And I mean alone as in, I don’t want to be in any more romantic relationships. I’ll still be with friends and family, so I won’t be lonely. Look, forget I said anything.”

“Need a ride home?”

“I just need to be here for a little while. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”


End file.
